Shannon here: Contemporary romance author, Elizabeth Maddrey shares insight on keeping the romance alive. Comment or answer the question at the end of this post to enter the drawing for a copy of her latest release, A Pinch of Promise. Deadline: June 20th, 11:59 pm central time. Here’s Elizabeth:
The case of the disappearing toddler. On this particular date night, one wouldn’ t go to bed, so Elizabeth photoshopped the picture for privacy.
Almost Twenty Years Later, the Romance Lives On by Elizabeth Maddrey
Despite being a romance writer, I’ll readily admit that I don’t rely on the typical trappings of romance in my own life. I mean, sure, flowers are fun. And when they show up out of the blue, it’s a nice surprise. But more often than not, if I want flowers, I need to grab them myself while we’re out at the grocery store. And really? I’m okay with that.
One of the first anniversary cards my husband got me had on the front something about how here was a poem to sum up all the love that he had, a poem that said what was in his heart. Inside it said: Yes indeedy, you’re my sweetie. That is so much more “us.” So, with that in mind, you’ll have a better appreciation for the little ways romance creeps into our life here as we’re approaching our 20th anniversary in August.
We’ve recently become more intentional about having an at home date night or two every week. (Despite being married for so long, our kids are both still little. And babysitters are expensive and hard to come by.) One of the things we love to do on these date nights is play board games together. And here is where my husband’s romantic streak comes out. See, like most red-blooded men, hubby is pretty competitive. He loves to play Xbox games with his friends (and by “with” I mean “against.”) He enjoys that thrill of having bested someone. In fact, when we were first married, we quickly realized that playing chess was not going to be a big part of our married life, because he was a lethal combination of really good at strategy and lacking in mercy for his opponent. Whereas I was an equally lethal combination of terrible at strategy and, I’ll own it, a bad loser. After having been crushed, yet again, and having muddled through the ensuing argument, we mutually agreed that chess was perhaps not the way for us to hang out together.
So, back to our board game nights. You’d probably think, given the above, that this is a bad plan. Except…he’s gone out of his way to find collaborative board games. That’s right – games where he and I work together to achieve a common goal. And these games are fun. They still feed his desire for competition. Maybe not as much as chess or Risk, but enough. And if we win, we win together. And if we lose, same thing – we lose collectively. I love them, because we can compare notes as we play and he can help with my strategy as we work on a larger strategy together. But if my husband hadn’t been looking for ways for us to spend time together, interacting and having fun, he never would have sought out this type of game.
That’s romance right there. At least to me.
He’s full of little things like this. They’re not grand, sweeping gestures, but they’re the everyday texts to remind me he loves me or getting up with the kids on Saturday morning even though he’s as tired (maybe even more tired) as me. Fixing me another cup of coffee since he’s getting up to get one for himself. (Trust me, that right there? That’s not something all guys do naturally!)
The older I get, the more I appreciate the everyday romance even more than the grand gestures of courtship. Because that everyday romance is a quiet reminder that at the end of the day, yes indeedy. I’m his sweetie. And he is mine.
Giveaway question: If a significant other was going to do something to show you their love, what would speak most to you?
About Elizabeth: Elizabeth Maddrey began writing stories as soon as she could form the letters properly and has never looked back. Though her practical nature and love of math and organization steered her into computer science for college and graduate school, she has always had one or more stories in progress to occupy her free time. When she isn’t writing, Elizabeth is a voracious consumer of books and has mastered the art of reading while undertaking just about any other activity. She loves to write about Christians who struggle through their lives, dealing with sin and receiving God’s grace.
Elizabeth lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C. with her husband and their two incredibly active little boys. She invites you to interact with her:
http://www.ElizabethMaddrey.com http://www.Facebook.com/ElizabethMaddrey
Twitter: @elizabethmaddre http://www.pinterest.com/emaddrey/
https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ElizabethMaddrey/posts
About the book – A Pinch of Promise:
He never forgot his first love.
In the ten years since Ben Taylor last saw Marie, no other woman has measured up. After he meets Rebecca Fisher, the physical therapist rehabilitating his knee, Ben is convinced that she is the same woman he fell in love with so many years ago. She denies it at first, but his persistence causes her to admit the truth. Right before she pushes him away.
To escape a painful negative image created by her father, Rebecca Fischer has constructed an identity completely separate from her past. Seeing Ben, her long lost love, threatens to shatter her intricate illusions. As Ben digs to uncover the truth of who she is, Rebecca must decide if she will trust any man with her wounded heart.
But even if Ben can convince her to admit the truth, how will he be able to trust her love?
Come back June 10th for Anne Greene!
angela chesnut says
sending me flowers
shelia hall says
Elizabeth’s books are good! Love to win this one!
shelia hall says
didn’t see the question before I posted! give me a day of pampering
Shirley Strait says
A home-cooked meal I didn’t cook with the clean-up done by someone else.
Elizabeth Maddrey says
Angela – It’s hard to go wrong with flowers, for sure!
Sheila – thanks so much 🙂 And ooh….a day of pampering. Yes please! 🙂
Shirley – Now that sounds divine. My hubby can’t cook though, so it’s unlikely around here.
Thanks for stopping by!
Shannon Taylor Vannatter says
I’m easy. Get me a gift certificate to my favorite store or take me to my favorite restaurant and I’m happy.
Patty says
I love it more when my husband does things for me, but flowers are always nice!
We love to play games together too, thankfully neither of us are sore loosers, but I think sometimes he lets me win=)
Elizabeth Maddrey says
Shannon – I love gift certificates 🙂 They’re the perfect gift!
Patty – Letting you win is nice (and hiding it so you’re not sure is even better) 🙂
Karen Hadley says
My husband does things for me like put gas in my car (he knows I don’t like to). Brings me a sonic drink by my work on occasion. Will do laundry and vacuum on his days off or when I just don’t have the time. What is special is I don’t have to ask him, he just does it!
Elizabeth Maddrey says
Karen – not having to ask is definitely the best! Those are sweet things – and I love how everyone’s examples have been things that are love to them, in particular. That’s the best, when your spouse knows you and knows what to do that speaks to you.
Shannon Taylor Vannatter says
I forgot to mention we love playing games. We love Pictionary and play together really well, but it’s a potential marriage buster. Most of the couples we’ve played with end up arguing. When doing pastoral counseling for engaged couples, my husband has teasingly suggested they play Pictionary together to test compatibility.
Bonnie Roof says
I don’t have a husband or significant other – but would love to read “A Pinch of Promise”. Thanks for the giveaway opportunity!! Enjoyed your post, Elizabeth.
Terrill Rosado says
My husband requires me to do most of the planning if we are going to do or go anywhere – date or otherwise. It would be so fun if to have a date with my husband in which he had it all planned and maybe even surprised me.
Also, since having children, it is rare to have our home to ourselves (my husband and I) and it is nice to have the rare occasion when it’s just us and no kids. It kind of reminds me of when we were first married.
Elizabeth Maddrey says
Bonnie – No Significant Other in real life required! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Terrill – Oh gosh, to have hubby plan something all the way out?! That *would* be delightful! My hubby is very much a seat of the pants guy, so if we have actual plans, I’m generally the one behind them, too. So I get that. Thanks for stopping by!
stvannatter says
I have a winner! Shirley Strait won the drawing. I appreciate Elizabeth for being my guest and everyone else for stopping by.