Shannon here: Linda Wood Rondeau shares insight into her friends’ real life romance, plus a chance to win a copy of her Devotional, Lessons Along the Way. Comment or answer the question in this post to enter the drawing for winner’s choice of Linda’s e-books. Deadline: May 4th, 11:59 pm central time. Here’s Linda:
Getting to Know You
Romance writers know the importance for their heroes and heroines to be on the same page … at least most of the time. For a couple to be in sync, it takes a period of getting to know one another.
In life and in fiction, conflict is the external influence that forces couples to dig deeper into each other’s personality. While true for any relationship, conflict continues throughout the years, especially in marriage.
Conflict is wind that separates the chaff and the wheat. It grinds and refines a relationship.
Take Matt and Janine for example, a couple I’ve known for many years.
Matt’s romance history was filled with disappointment. When he began the dating journey, his romances rarely lasted more than a few weeks. He joined the army and his bunk mate’s wife said, “So, Matt, what’s your problem? Don’t you want a serious relationship?”
Matt, one whose primary prayer was to have a family, didn’t know quite how to answer. “I’m open. Maybe women don’t find me husband material.”
“What? You’re good looking, intelligent, and steady. I’d call that husband material.”
“Guess I just haven’t met the right one, yet.”
A degree in pre-law, Matt started law school when he was discharged from the army. Realizing academia was not his forte, he dropped out. He then found employment working as an assistant in a small law office. Perfect.
Janine had her disappointments as well.
Not just in romance. Life in general left her with emotional scars. Career focused, she used her bachelor’s degree and found employment in a firm located in Matt’s building. The two passed each other in hallways and on the elevator. Polite, “How are you?” quips eventually lengthened into longer conversations in which they learned they had a great deal in common. They eventually started up a friendship, enjoying going places together.
Janine decided to play the role of Matt’s matchmaker. She arranged many blind dates for Matt that never worked out well. Matt continued to remain clueless as to Janine’s true motivation. Finally, she admitted her infatuation. “I’ve had a crush on you since the first time I saw you.”
With that hammer to his head, Matt woke up to the possibilities. He began to see Janine as much more than a friend. This led to their eventual engagement and marriage. A child was born to them the next year.
Matt and Janine discovered that happily ever was not without its challenges. Matt decided to be a
stay-at-home dad and the couple needed to manage with less income. Janine’s desire to further her education and follow her dream career would require Matt’s sacrifice of a career. As he nurtured their child, he gladly forfeited a chance to build his own career. But the addition of a baby into their mix, required more getting-to-know-you work.
Then the kid grew to an age not needing constant parenting, becoming involved in extracurricular activities and gradually developing a life of her own. Janine and Matt again had to take time to get to know one another while Matt figured out what to do about employment. “What kind of work will satisfy you, Matt?” Janine would ask as she helped her mate delve into his own soul.
Matt asked the question, “How will my working full time impact our designation of duties?”
The job search was proving to be well beyond disappointing after Matt found and lost several jobs through no fault of his own. Even so, he became depressed. Janine needed to remember all those wonderful qualities she found in Matt when they decided to spend their lives together. That’s what getting to know you means … knowing your partner’s heart and soul and help them revisit that from time to time.
Matt got through the difficulty by remembering his prayer so many years ago. “All I want is a family, Lord.” As he remembered his answered prayer, he uttered the words, “But it takes a lot of work.”
As I look at Matt and Janine’s years together, I come to this realization and apply it to my own marriage of nearly fifty years. People change, their hopes and aspirations change, the way they perceive life changes. We are not the same people we were at the time our relationship began. Love requires a constant getting-to-know-you effort.
Question for Readers: How have you grown or changed as you’ve gotten older?
About Linda: A former Selah Award winner and Carol Awards finalist, Linda Wood Rondeau
writes to demonstrate that our worst past, surrendered to God, becomes our best future. Her books are inspired by her many years as a social worker, why her voice hits home with complex characters who walk off the page, and why readers relate to her non-fiction as well.
A Toastmaster graduate, she enjoys speaking to groups about her experiences as well as the writing life. Learn more & connect:
Linda’s Website (where you can sign up for her newsletter)
Linda’s Facebook Author Page Linda’s Instagram
About the book – Lesson’s Along the Way:
From the author of I Prayed for Patience: God Gave Me Children and Who Put the Vinegar in the Salt
Life is a series of adventures. And each adventure shows us more about our God … his power manifested, or his gentle patience demonstrated.
God is with us through the mundane and the miraculous, always teaching us how to experience him fully and lean on him every day.
As in the hymn of old, God leads along—sometimes through troubled waters, sometimes through fire, and sometimes by quiet streams. Always, he is with us, directing us, guiding us, and teaching us what obedience, trust, and love truly means.
Adapted from her long-running newspaper column, each devotional is a revelation of one of God’s many blessings.
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Lessons Along the Way Linda’s Books
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Is the God of the new while he preserves the old!
I have a winner! Roxanne C won the drawing. I appreciate Linda for being my guest and everyone else for stopping by.