Shannon here: Historical romance author, Lorna Seilstad shares what she’s learned during twenty-five years of marriage. Comment or answer the question at the end of any post dated April 27 – 29 to enter the drawing for a copy of her latest release, As Love Blooms. Deadline: May 9th, 11:59 pm central time. Here’s Lorna:
25 things I’ve Learned in 25 Years of Marriage by Lorna Seilstad
In February, my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we are going on an Alaskan cruise with another couple later this year. I can’t wait.
In some ways it seems like we said “I do” yesterday, and in other ways, it feels like we’ve been married forever. There have been difficult times including the loss of three of our combined four parents. But there have been many more blessedly sweet times of shared laughter, a hug at the end of a long day, or watching our children step out into the world.
Here are some of the things we’ve discovered along the way.
1. Time picks up speed. Remember when you were little and it took forever for Christmas to come? Now, it seems like you turn around and it’s here again. Cherish the time.
2. Love is a gift, but it’s also an action. Love is a lot more about how you treat the other person than how you feel.
3. There is no such thing as 50/50. Sometimes he seems to give more, and at other times I think I do. That’s life.
4. The more we laughed, the more we fell in love.
5. In order for my husband to feel loved, he needs to be respected. In order for me to feel respected, I need to feel loved. (Eph. 5:25, 5:33)
6. I’m so glad I married a man who is easy to respect. (see #5)
7. A good marriage is more like a garden than anything else. It needs to be nurtured and tended. And a few weeds pulled.
8. There’s a reason the Bible says, “Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not rude…”
9. There’s also a reason it says to “keep no record of wrongs.” Making mental lists of wrongs makes Satan very happy.
10. Inevitably, married couples struggle, but struggles can strengthen the bond.
11. Learning to yield to one another is an on-going task.
12. Criticism destroys. I need this one tattooed on my heart.
13. Being married doesn’t mean you’ll never be lonely. It does mean you’re not alone. There’s a difference.
14. Your husband cannot possibly meet all your needs, and it’s unfair to expect him to.
15. When you think to yourself, “I really shouldn’t say this,.” you’re probably right.
16. Fight fair. One topic at a time and without saying “you always do this” or “you never do that.”
17. Marriages have stages which gives you chances to re-discover one another over and over.
18. We each have our own love languages and learning to recognize how he is showing me his love is invaluable. For my “acts of service” husband, he’ll often say, “I emptied the dishwasher.” Translation: “I love you.”
19. Love and joy are decisions.
20. I read, “Marriage is taking place on a spiritual battlefield, not on a romantic balcony.” That’s was true in the beginning and it’s still true today.
21. It’s easy to compete with your spouse, rather than complete them.
22. Both of us having teachable spirits has meant more to our marriage than I ever predicted.
23. There are no mind-readers in marriage, so you have to talk often, openly, and honestly.
24. Count your blessings. In a Bible study I was at, a widow said the thing she missed about having her husband was not being the most important person in the world to anyone any longer. I think of her words often and thank God for my husband.
25. Happiness is not the goal in marriage. Holiness is. Focusing on God, glorifying Him, and serving Him is the goal which truly draws us closer.
About Lorna: A history buff, antique collector, wedding coordinator, and freelance graphic designer, Lorna Seilstad is the author of Making Waves, A Great Catch, and The Ride of Her Life. A former high school English and journalism teacher, she has won several online writing contests and is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers. Lorna lives in Council Bluffs, Iowa, with her husband. They have two children in college and one still at home. Visit her at www.lornaseilstad.com, on Facebook, on Pinterest, and on Twitter.
About the book – As Love Blooms:
Young romance opens like a rose . . . but even a rose has its thorns.
Tessa Gregory is nothing if not tenacious. Denied a position as a horticulturist at prestigious Como Park in Saint Paul, Minnesota, she is not above a little benevolent deception in order to get the park superintendent to change his mind and hire her. She plans to infiltrate the world of wealthy and influential people in hopes of drumming up financial support for a world-class conservatory. But before she can put those plans into action, she meets Reese King, a handsome gardener at Como Park–and a major distraction. Still, Reese might be the key to achieving her dream. But is his goal to help her . . . or to capture her heart?
Against the lush backdrop of manicured gardens and greenhouses full of the exotic, Lorna Seilstad weaves a sweet and sassy story that is sure to delight.
What people are saying about The Gregory Sisters:
“A cut above the rest.”–RT Book Reviews
“Thoroughly charming.”–Maggie Brendan, author of the Heart of the West series and The Blue Willow Brides series
“Delightful . . . a wonderfully satisfying read.”–Suzanne Woods Fisher, bestselling author of The Inn at Eagle Hill series
Question: Have you ever been on a cruise? If so, where? If not, would you like to?
Come back April 29th for part two from Lorna!